Some years ago, I discovered an interesting article by clinical psychologist, Amy Morin, entitled 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do. I, along with millions of other people, found the article inspirational and quite apropos. The idea behind the article is that individuals who are mentally strong are not controlled by external forces; instead, they take control of their own lives, and take responsibility for their own actions.
I recently reread the article and thought about some of the things confident Christian woman don’t do. Here are some of the things that came to mind.
Overall, confident Christian women realize that being confident is not just about following rules and regulations made up by churches. It involves so much more. Confident Christian women first and foremost allow Christ to be Lord of their lives, they surrender everything to Him and allow Him to do His work through them
Let’s look at the things that confident Christian women don’t do so that you can be inspired to become more confident too.
1. They don’t waste time trying to do the “right” things
Confident Christian women realize that they cannot consistently do “right” things on their own. So, they don’t waste time trying to make themselves live a “perfect” life because they can’t. Not without Christ. They understand and believe this: “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13, NLT)
2. They don’t judge others
Confident Christian women realize that judging people sets them up for God to judge them in the same way. They take the verses in Matthew 7:1-5 to heart because they know that they do not have the authority to decide if someone is destined for hell or heaven.
“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged.
For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own?
How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?
Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5, NLT)
3. They don’t make others feel badly when they have done something wrong.
Confident Christian women know that they are not perfect. Making someone feel badly because of something they did goes against what Christ teaches. Christ’s focus is restoration, not condemnation, why then would He die for us?
“For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” (John 3:17, NKJV)
4. They don’t doubt that God will take care of them
When we pray, don’t we always want Him to give us what we ask for? Yes, we do, but Confident Christian women understand that God wants what is best for them. They never doubt that He will answer all their prayers but accepts that it may not always be the answer they are looking for.
“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you
For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. (Matthew 7:7 & 8, NLT)
5. They don’t rehearse or relive their past wrongs
Confident Christian women admit when they have done something wrong and quickly seek forgiveness. Despite this, they don’t relive their past wrongs because they believe God has forgiven and forgotten them. Even when friends and family bring up their past, Confident Christian women are not discouraged by this because they are confident in God’s promise of forgiveness.
The Lord is compassionate and merciful,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.
He will not constantly accuse us,
nor remain angry forever.
He does not punish us for all our sins;
he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve.
For his unfailing love toward those who fear him
is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth.
He has removed our sins as far from us
as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:8-11, NLT)
6. They don’t put their needs before others.
Confident Christian women make the choice to be self-sacrificial. This doesn’t mean they are weak. They are actually strong. It takes great strength to sacrifice the things you want in order to provide for the needs of others. Confident Christian women know that a life of service is a life worth living.
“The greatest among you must be a servant.
But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted”. (Matthew 23: 11, 12, NLT)
7. They don’t give up on people
They follow Christ’s example. All throughout the gospels there is evidence that Christ never gave up on anyone. He offered love and compassion to those who were shunned by society or put out of the church. Confident Christian women do as Christ did by showing acceptance to everyone, no matter who they are.
To this they replied, “You were steeped in sin at birth; how dare you lecture us!” And they threw him out.
Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”
“Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”
Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”
Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.
(John 9:34-38, NLT)
8. They don’t look to other people as their ultimate example
No one is perfect. We are all human and we make mistakes. People get disappointed everyday by their role models, children, parents, teachers, pastors, etc. Confident Christian women accept the fact that there is only One who is perfect; Christ, and He is their ultimate example.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.” (Hebrews 4:15, NIV)
9. They don’t expose the failure of others
Confident Christian women understand what it is to fail. They also know how it feels when their failures are revealed. So, because of the love they have, they cover the failures of others.
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
10. They don’t talk negatively about others
Confident Christian women speak positively and avoid speaking negatively about others. They believe that actions reveal what is really on the inside of a person, so confident Christian woman focus on surrounding themselves with people and things that are positive and uplifting.
“A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit.
A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit.
So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire.
Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”(Matthew 12:34, NLT).
11. They don’t hold grudges
Holding grudges leads to discontent, insecurity and the loss of one’s own power and freedom. Confident Christian women let go of grudges as soon as possible because they believe in freedom in Christ and the power of forgiveness.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4: 31, 32)
12. They are not easily offended by people’s thoughts or opinions
Today, people get offended very easily. Differences in opinions have caused major issues on social media and even in people’s household. Confident Christian women recognize that God has given each of us the power of choice. We can choose to accept His love for us or not. Just like we can choose to be offended by someone who has a different opinion than we do. Respecting a person’s God given right to choose is something Confident Christian women do because they realize how important this will be in developing and maintaining healthy relationships.
“Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. (Colossians 3:13, NLT)
13. They don’t make church doctrines more important than people
Church doctrines are important but they are never more important than people. Christ made it clear when He defied the rules that did not show compassion or love for others. People always come first, not rules, and Confident Christian women understand this. (Mark 7:1-15)
Final Thoughts
The journey toward being confident Christian women has its ups and downs. Some days we will be on the right path, other days, because we are human, our thoughts and actions will lead us on a path we don’t want to take. But no need to worry, Christ will always be there to guide us back to where we need to be. All that’s needed is a willingness to listen to His still small voice and to go where He leads.
Being a confident Christian woman is a choice, and you can make that choice every minute of the day.
